I wrote the below in mid January but it was too hard to actually finish this post at this time:
It has been a long day. After nearly 9 hours in the car for the trip to Ohio State to the equine hospital in PA to home, I am physically and emotionally spent. After getting positive updates the last couple days, I was looking forward to seeing Gadget without the furrowed brow of pain. However, again Gadget was toe-touching lame this morning. It has been 7 weeks that we have been fighting the infection and the pain. He has been through countless procedures, and even when clearly in immeasurable pain, Gadget tries to do as we ask. My emotions have been close to the surface for weeks, but it is when I think of the pain that Gadget has and continues to endure, that I can no longer stop the tears.
I want with all of my heart for him to get better and I feel like we have tried everything available - surgeries, 5 antibiotics, countless lab panels, MRI, and more than 4 weeks of hospitalization between the smaller hospital and Ohio State. He has had the benefit of many different vets looking at him and brainstorming for the best plan of treatment. We have exhausted our options except to continue praying that this antibiotic works and hope that the wound begins to heal from the inside out. The vets have said that this week is critical. We need to see more good days than bad -- or else we are not winning the war.
March 19, 2019 update:
Sadly, the first weekend in February I could tell that Gadget had taken a turn for the worse. I spent a couple hours on Saturday sitting in his stall at the hospital feeding him pounds of carrots and treats and I made him a special mash. I knew my days with him were likely numbered. I don't know that I haveever creid so much as I did over those last few weeks. On Monday afternoon, February 5, I received a call from the vet that the x-rays of hocks looked fine. We hoped that they were fusing and causing the pain. When they removed the suture, the wound was once again filled with infected material. Any additional surgery would be removing larger amounts of bone and tissue than had been taken in the first three surgeries. Even though the wound had been packed with amikasin antibiotic beads, filled daily with antibiotic Bayrtil regional limb perfusions, and he was getting chloramphenicol orally three times per day, the infection could not be beat. Hani and I drove up to say good bye and we both cried and laughed through tears as we spent the evening in his stall talking about all of our years with Gadget. Gadget had brought us so many wonderful memories and it was so devastatingly painful to say goodbye.
As Hani said, Gadget was the horse that made him love horses and he really considered him "our " horse. Iggy Hani considers "my" horse because it has been such a different dynamic. It was the right thing to do, but it was hard to accept that we lost him due to a stupid staph infection that we could not clear. I will love him forever and I am so grateful to have had him in my life.
It has been a long day. After nearly 9 hours in the car for the trip to Ohio State to the equine hospital in PA to home, I am physically and emotionally spent. After getting positive updates the last couple days, I was looking forward to seeing Gadget without the furrowed brow of pain. However, again Gadget was toe-touching lame this morning. It has been 7 weeks that we have been fighting the infection and the pain. He has been through countless procedures, and even when clearly in immeasurable pain, Gadget tries to do as we ask. My emotions have been close to the surface for weeks, but it is when I think of the pain that Gadget has and continues to endure, that I can no longer stop the tears.
I want with all of my heart for him to get better and I feel like we have tried everything available - surgeries, 5 antibiotics, countless lab panels, MRI, and more than 4 weeks of hospitalization between the smaller hospital and Ohio State. He has had the benefit of many different vets looking at him and brainstorming for the best plan of treatment. We have exhausted our options except to continue praying that this antibiotic works and hope that the wound begins to heal from the inside out. The vets have said that this week is critical. We need to see more good days than bad -- or else we are not winning the war.
March 19, 2019 update:
Sadly, the first weekend in February I could tell that Gadget had taken a turn for the worse. I spent a couple hours on Saturday sitting in his stall at the hospital feeding him pounds of carrots and treats and I made him a special mash. I knew my days with him were likely numbered. I don't know that I haveever creid so much as I did over those last few weeks. On Monday afternoon, February 5, I received a call from the vet that the x-rays of hocks looked fine. We hoped that they were fusing and causing the pain. When they removed the suture, the wound was once again filled with infected material. Any additional surgery would be removing larger amounts of bone and tissue than had been taken in the first three surgeries. Even though the wound had been packed with amikasin antibiotic beads, filled daily with antibiotic Bayrtil regional limb perfusions, and he was getting chloramphenicol orally three times per day, the infection could not be beat. Hani and I drove up to say good bye and we both cried and laughed through tears as we spent the evening in his stall talking about all of our years with Gadget. Gadget had brought us so many wonderful memories and it was so devastatingly painful to say goodbye.
As Hani said, Gadget was the horse that made him love horses and he really considered him "our " horse. Iggy Hani considers "my" horse because it has been such a different dynamic. It was the right thing to do, but it was hard to accept that we lost him due to a stupid staph infection that we could not clear. I will love him forever and I am so grateful to have had him in my life.
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